Healing From Adultery

How To Cope and Heal from Infidelity in Your Relationship

Forty percent of relationships deal with infidelity; coping with and recovery from this issue has

become a common relationship problem. Over half of the couples that have experienced cheating

do not remain in a committed relationship, according to the American Psychological Association.

Does this mean that relationships can't survive infidelity? No, it means that both partners should

be willing to put in hard work through therapy to ensure the best chances of healing the

relationship. For those willing to put in the work, there can be positive outcomes.

Being “cheated on” may be one of the worst feelings partners can experience in a relationship

because infidelity can affect trust, connection, and vulnerability. Often, we wish to forgive

people who have hurt us, but sometimes it's not that easy. Where does the healing start?

Especially if infidelity comes from the person whom you trusted the most, finding how to

navigate betrayal, hurt, and uncertainty can seem overwhelming. We wish to forgive but it's not

that easy. So how do we begin; where does the healing start…

1. Define Infidelity

Partners should first define infidelity together. The most common assumption is that

adultery/infidelity/cheating is an act by which one partner engages with someone outside

of the relationship in sexual intercourse. However, this assumption has been redefined

numerous times to include relationships formed with a third party beyond the primary

relationship in which one partner engages with that person in physical, emotional, and/or

psychological interactions that seek to fulfill a need not met by the primary partnership.

Furthermore, these forms of adultery can occur both in person and through a digital

online setting.

There are five types of cheating that partners can engage in

1. Romantic

2. Casual

3. Emotional

4. Cyber

5. Polyamorous

2. Coping with Infidelity

Despite the impacts of infidelity on the relationship, with professional help, couples can

learn how to cope with a partner who betrays trust and avoids taking responsibility. A

licensed therapist can support this healing process by creating a safe place where couples

can explore the causes, feelings, needs, and dynamics that resulted in an affair. This is

done by:

• Improving communication

• Assisting in restoring trust through building safety

• Facilitating healing through forgiveness

• Changing unhealthy relationship patterns

• Exploring the details of the adultery

• Letting go of anger and retribution

• Reframing negative thinking

• Taking responsibility

• Revealing remorse

• Processing the pain

• Disarming triggers

• Developing new boundaries

Healing takes time. Only from a point of trust and safety can we process the pain and move

forward. It is only from this point that we may be able to seek forgiveness and gain forgiveness.

The healing process can take time, commitment, and hope.